Let Me Know
by takoyn Kudou
Summary: Sometimes all that matters is that they're happy.
1. Default Chapter

This is my new little ficlet. It'll be ongoing just to warn anyone. Yotan's view is my own and what is going on in my life right now. It's kinda sad which is how I've been lately. So enjoy if possible. I'm also curious as to who you think Yotan's crush is on.  
  
Sweet, soft, funny, teaseable, delicious; that's what you are to me. I'll never let you know it though. Well maybe one day I will when I finally work up the courage. Yes even I don't have the guts to say what I want to. Wild, crazy, carefree, fun, uninhibited me is scared out of my mind.   
We've talked, teased, comforted and hell, even flirted. I was serious with everything I said but I don't think you took me seriously. I don't think you *knew* I was serious. I don't blame you though. My tone was light, teasing. Not the tone you would expect when someone is saying how much they really like you.   
I glance up when I hear the bell above the store's door chime. I can't help but smile as I see it's you who's walked in.  
"Hey! You look happy," I greet.  
"I am Yotan! I'm having a great day!"  
"Oh? And what has made it so great?"  
"Nothing really."  
"Liar. What happened? Meet some hot chickie?"  
"Kinda."  
My interest peeks as my heart drops.  
"Oh? Do tell!" I ask enthusiastically. I can't let him know what I really feel.  
"I just hung out with her all day. We had a lot of fun. It was great."  
"That's awesome."  
"Yeah, she's really sweet and a lot of fun."  
"You sound quite smitten with her."  
"Yeah, I have been for a while now."  
He hangs up his coat during this time and puts on his apron.  
"So you still going to come and hang out tomorrow night?" I ask.  
"Sorry, I can't. I have a date with her tomorrow night."  
My heart sinks to the floor. I grin at him though.  
"You rascal. Have a great time!"  
"I will," he laughs. I love his laugh.  
"I got to go do these deliveries. I'll catch you later. Fill me in on the gossip of your date."  
"That I will. See you later."  
I close the door behind me and let the forced smile drop. I walk to the car to do the deliveries.   
  
  
tbc   
  



	2. Why?

Hi, thanks for going on to part 2. I've decided to revamp chapter two and give some more detail into things. Some history in this chapter and yes I know at one point the characters are going to seem to be very out of character but well we never do see these women Yoji talks about and we never really know what happens outside of the flower shop all that often. I've also determined that people are a lot more honest, open and different when you're on ms...some messaging service and not talking face to face.   
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
It's been 2 days since I've seen or talk to you. Where are you? Are you still with her? We talked everyday up until our last conversation. Where are you?  
  
Perhaps I should go into some of our history. When I fell on a mission some 5 months ago I broke my leg. I was out of commission for 4 months or there abouts. It was a bad break and I was under strict orders by the doctors not to do anything. That's right. I was given permission to sit on my ass and do nothing. So that's exactly what I did, nothing. Well one can only imagine how bored I became. Day time television sucks and I was going through books so fast all of you could barely keep me well supplied.  
  
It wasn't until one day that I decided to haul out my laptop that Kritiker had given me some time ago, that my boredom started to be relieved. The lot of us started to talk online. NEver about much, usually what had happened in the shop that day, school, soccer practice, Takatori's head in a bucket. As I said never about much.  
  
It was not long after I had my cast off (but still wasn't allowed back at work) that I started to love and hate you. We talked online for three hours one night and a lot was said. Truths were revealed and then promptly, or maye more like conviently, forgotten once we saw each other in person. You told me you were attracted to me but didn't see any potential romance with me. Besides you didn't want a relationship just then. You had just been burned badly. You were dumped for your friend. It hurts I know. But what you were looking for were women or men, some people, you could date 'casually'. Casually my ass. You wanted fuck buddies. You said that you couldn't get hurt again this way. Do you know how wrong you are? Look at who you're talking to. Would I not be the one to tell you that it does hurt? That it won't make you feel any better?   
  
We argued about this. I told you that you would still be hurt if you did what you wanted too. You asked me what I wanted and I told you. You then told me theat you wanted me as one of your fuck toys. Part of me wanted to say yes just so I would have you butg a larger part of me screamed no. So that's what I told you, no. So that's where we left it. At that point I didn't know whether to hug you or punch you the next time we met. I hugged you and looking back on it maybe I should have punched you. Maybe if I had I wouldn't be feeling like I do now.  
  
You were so sweet to me. So good, so nice, so great that I found myself falling even more for you. That's why when you toldme you had a date it hurt so much.  
  
Why? Why did you have to be so sweet? Why couldn't you just have been an asshole? Everything would just be so much easier now if you were.   
  
  
tbc  
  
Yeah I know that the online convo seems odd and that our 'mysterious other' sounds a lot more like Yotan but like I said we don't know what the others do in their spare time all that often (I know Omi=school, Ken=soccer, Aya=...be bitter?). But in all honesty we don't see Yotan with women coming out of his room that often in the series (if ever?) but I tried to maintain the fact that he is a playboy. Please note I am not a slut! That part is definitely Yotan's playboy side. If you actually know me then you would probably find the comparison quite humourous. Nor did I ever break my leg it was just an excuse to get Yotan out of the shop for 4 months or so. Anyway, keep reading if you like. I'd appreicate it. More will come as writing makes me feel better.   



	3. Movies?

Hi hi! Back with more. I'm starting to feel a bit better about everything but it still sucks all-in-all. Like I said at the end of the last chapter life would be so much easier if he was an asshole but he's not and it makes everything worse. Also please note two things. ONe that I did up the rating due to some swearing. Trust me it's not half as much as I would normally swear but if I did write what I actually thought it would just be tasteless. Secondly please note that I did update chapter 2 because well, I thought it needed more to it after a review that suggested as much (thank you Hele!) I'll be addressing a couple of other questions/comments made in later chapters. Thanks to those who have reviewed! Always makes my day feel a better! Anyway, enough rambling on. This is slightly brief but perhaps there will be more to come especially once my computer is fixed. (thanks Sher for letting me use you comp!). Okay on with the fic already.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I hadn't heard from you in a week. I decided I needed to see you. I made cookies on the weekend and brought some with me just for you.  
  
I sat and waited for you on the bench. Three o'clock every Monday you told me you go by here. So I got there a bit early and watied. I almost didn't recognize you. You look really different with a hat on.   
I called your name and was greeted with a big smile. It made me feel good but that feeling didn't last long.   
  
We greeted each other commenting on it had been too long since we had talked last.  
"Busy with the woman." you told me. My heart sank. So dthe date had obviously gone well. Somewhere in the back of my mind I had hoped the date had been a disaster. You asked me if I was free the following night. I told you not until nine. "Perfect" you said. "We're going to a movie tomorrow night and she's bringing some of her friends. I want you to come with us. It's kind of a date but well, yeah. So can you come?"  
  
What the hell do you need me there for? To hold your hand an coax you along so nothing goes wrong? So you don't fuck up? No, fuck you, sorry. It's not going to happen.  
  
I feel like I've been punched in the stomach but I smile at you and say that I'll try. I hand you the cookies and tell you to enjoy them. I know you have your appointment so I say bye and leace. My smile drops once i have my back truend to you. Already I'm thinking of excuses to not go. I have the early morning shift at the shop. I suppose I'll just use that as my excuse. I can't let you know how much it will hurt if I were to actually go and see you with her. After all you're happy now. I should be glad that you're happy because that's all I've really wanted for you. So why does it hurt so much?   
  
  
tbc...  
  
So yeah that's what's been going on. As I said before once more will be up once I get my computer fixed and running. *grumbles* stupid heat sink breaking, cheap plastic piece of crap clip....  
So anyway, reviews would be wonderful but not necessary! Thanks for reading! :D   
  



	4. Anger

Hi all! Yet another chapter. Perhaps slightly more happy than the others? I'm not too sure. I've been so blah lately that I just don't care that much any more. Also been insanely busy with school. Tests, presentations, papers and other stuff. Just so all of you know I fence (yeah epee! hehehe) so I used some of the terminology in here. I don't know if it's applicable to Kendo or not but for the sake of arguement I'm going to say they're similar. Again I'd love to hear from you about what you think of the story and who you think the mystery person is. So enjoy!  
  
  
~~~~~  
I write you an online message telling you I can't go to the movies with you and 'your woman'. You write me back saying that that is fine, it's going to be more of a couples thing anyway. I am enraged. I have every right to be I think.   
'Why did you invite me then?' I write back. 'To make me feel awkward and left out?! THANKS!'. You then whine saying that I can come if I really want to and that you didn't know it was going to be a couples thing when you invited me. I storm away from the computer fuming. How dare he do this to me. That bastard!  
I decide to go and do the only thing that I know that would calm me down. I go to work out. I arrive at Kriter's gym that they have for all of their agents. I proceed to run a few laps on the track. The gym is well equipped with a variety of different machines and various other things. Can't have sloppy and out of shape assassins now can we?  
I walk into the main part of the gym to find Aya practicing with a kendo sword. He's so graceful yet powerful with his movements. Each move has a purpose. Not a single move wasted. He stops moving having killed his opponent in his mind. He sees me watching. He picks up the extra sword and throws it to me. I catch it. I guess he wants a physical opponent this time. I walk over and we take our en guarde positions. For 2 hours we fight. He is obviously better than I am as he has far more practice. I hold my own though. By the end of it we are breathing heavily and sporting several welts and new bruises. I feel better though. Frustration having been literally beaten out of me. We bow and walk off together to get some water.  
I sit on a bench and he joins me. He doesn't say anything for a while. We just sit there breathing hard trying to get ourselves to calm down.  
"He hasn't been at home much this past week."  
Aya's voice startles me.  
"Huh?"  
"I said he hasn't been at home much this past week. I'm assuming that's why you're here. Looking for him. Either that or you're angry at him."  
"I don't know what you're talking about. Why should I care where he is and who he spends his time with? I'm not his caretaker."  
"No, you're not but you do care for him."  
I don't answer to this. I can't answer.  
"You should just talk to him. Tell him the truth."  
"Hn. Like he'd listen. He knows the truth as far as I know anyway. He's just choosing to ignore it. Besides what right do I have to interfere with what he has now? He can go and have his fun with his new little toy and maybe when he's bored of her I'll talk to him. But not a minute before that."  
"Fine. Be stubborn."  
He gets up and starts to walk away.  
"Aya wait."  
He turns and looks at me.  
"Is he happy with her?"  
"Hai," he says. He sounds kinda sad as he says it.   
He leaves and I am by myself once again.   
  
  
tbc...  
~~~~~~~~  
so there's another chapter. Life isn't too good right now. I haven't been very happy lately. The only good thing that results from this is more fics. I have a few ideas and of course to keep with my usual writings they'll be angsty. The next chapter is going to deal with why Yoji isn't in the same building as the rest of the boys.  



	5. Away from Home

Hi again. This is a rather unrelated chapter. Short and sweet but provides some explanation as to why Yoji isn't living with the others. Hope you enjoy and that this will explain a few things. Thanks to all of those who have reviewed. Enjoy!  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
I stare at my bedroom ceiling thinking about everything that has lead me to this point in time and place.   
The quiet is both reassuring and frustrating. I miss the others. Two more weeks and I can return to my little apartment above the Koneko.   
Why am I not there now? Well with good reason. When I fell and broke my leg and was given the instructions not to do anything Kritiker didn't believe that I'd follow instructions so they moved me in to room in their long term care facilities. A rather large room with a big comfy bed, tv, kitchen, couches and other nice things. The guys brought my stuff over with the help of Manx and Birman. I had a hell of a time unpacking and realizing stuff that had forgotten. But once it was all done and over with the place started to feel like home.  
The guys came by almost once a day. Aya would pop by now and then since I wasn't far from where his sister's room was and still is. Fresh flowers were always brought as well as get well soon cards from the flower shop girls. Presents and candy were brought for the first little while after I left the shop. I had to laugh at it all.  
He also came by to visit quite a bit. It was nice. We would talk in person for a while and the days he didn't come we would talk online. I really enjoyed my time with him. Both online and offline.   
The months I had my leg in a cast flew by quickly. It felt wonderful to finally get the blasted thing removed. I wasn't allowed to leave yet. I had to stick around for 6 weeks of physiotherapy twice a day. That was horrid. My leg was so skinny and the muslce was so weak. But slowly I brought the strength back up and am fine now.  
The day finally came for me to move back in with the others. I had everything packed and the place was clean. All I had to do was wait for everyone to show up and help me with the boxes. I heard a knock on the door while I was doing my final scan of the room to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything. He was standing there with a mournful look on his face. I knew something was wrong right away. He regretfully told me that I would not be moving back in with them that day. There had been a slight problem and the water main had broke. My room had been flooded and severely damaged. All the wood had rotted and mold was growing everywhere already. I was disappointed to say the least.   
That was only 6 weeks ago. With any luck I should be moving back in in a week or two when all the renovations are done. So much got destroyed in the flooding. The store took quite a hit as well. Some of our best plants were drowned ten times over. We were closed for an entire week just to find out what had been ruined and what could be saved.   
So here I lie on my bed in the long care facilities that Kritiker owns. I long for the playful moods of the Koneko and the noise. Sometimes the silence is just too much.  
  
  
tbc...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Well yet another chapter come and gone. Misura I hope this answers your question as to why Yotan wasn't in with the others. I know it's a little cheesy or whatever but hey it's an explanation. Like it or lump it, lol. I think there is only going to be one more chapter to this. Stuff has happened and decisions have been made. It should be up within the next day or two of this getting posted. Take care and as always would love to hear from you but it's not necessary.   



	6. Final Decision

My last chapter is finally here. Life has been really crappy for the past while but I've decided that enough is enough and I need to start feeling better. This last chapter has covered my final decision about him. Well 99.9% sure that it's my final decision untless some miracle happens which I highly doubt. So on with the show. ps - this should tell you who are mystery guy is...   
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Two weeks. Two weeks and not a word from you. I watched for you in the shop but you were never there at the same time as me. We always just missed each other.   
My computer was broken so I wasn't online nearly as much. I'd wander to the library down the street now and then just so I could do some online stuff. Apparently I wouldn't have seen you online anyway.   
Life's been rough. I've been depressed lately. I've missed the noise, the midnight snacks the lot of us you to do, the lazing around we use to do when we hung out. I've missed you. I've decided to get better though. I need to get better. I hate feeling like this.   
  
I finally found you online. Our conversation was brief but it helped me to determine a few things. I asked you how life was and you said great. Things with her could never be better. You were really happy. Evyerthing I asked you about some how came back to how happy you were with her or something that had happened with her. I asked if anything exciting, new or amazing had happened to you. 'Yeah, but it's kinda personal if you know what I mean ;) ' was your answer.   
That helped me make my final decision. It helped me decide that it was time to get better.   
  
  
Today I'm to return to the Koneko. Back to the noise of everyone rushing about trying to make sure the shop is open in time, that practice is made on time, that school is made on time. Back to my grinning in bed when I hear all of this. None of you knew that I was awake then. I just pretended to be asleep but I loved hearing all of you.  
My bags are packed and I'm loading them into the taxi. I've already sent the stuff I haven't need for a while back to the Koneko. It's mainly just clothes and some sentimental stuff.  
I head upstairs again just to make sure I don't forget anything. Nothing forgotten. All that's left is a piece of paper on my bed.  
I get in the taxi and we drive off. I watch the buildings go by. We turn the corner and drive past the Koneko. I see you carrying in some of the plants that were put out when you opened shop. You'll be leaving in an hour to pick me up and help me move back in. I won't be there.   
  
  
  
His POV  
  
I pound on the door.   
"YOTAN! GET UP YOU LAZY SLUG!"  
"Young man this is part of the hospital!" a wandering nurse scolds me.  
"Oops, sorry."  
Aya is here as well to help move Yoji out of this place and back home where he belongs. Omi couldn't make it because he has school. Aya wasn't too happy about having to close shop to come and get Yoji but the hospital threatened to make them pay for another night if he wasn't out by noon. Yoji threatened to make Aya pay for the room if he wasn't going to come and get him. Nothing like a little money motivation to get Aya moving.  
I try the doorknob and am surprised to find it unlocked. I push open the door.  
"Yoji? Are you there?" I ask.  
I'm shocked by what I see. I push open the door to view an empty room. Everything has been taken out.  
"Yoji?" I croak.  
I see something that looks like a note on the bed. I walk over and pick it up. Only one word is on the page.  
  


Goodbye

  
  
~Owari~   
Well, it's done and I hope you don't hate me too much for how I ended it. I decided that I need to say goodbye to him for a while. At least until I get my life sorted out. If you're him and you're reading this then I did have the guts to send you this. I hope you understand and realize I'm sorry. As for the fans of Weiss I think you now know who our mystery guy is. If you really hate this ending let me know (nicely please!) and I may consider rewriting it if enough people disagree with my choice. Thanks for reading! -Kat-  



End file.
